I am scared to fall in love

I really love you I feel like I can be with you forever but every relationship has problems it is normal but when I think and feel like I can love you a lot I think about university  because you might find someone I do not want you to think I am horrible n judging you of your past but that was the person you were before we met I am just scared you will meet someone, like if a girl throws herself at you like kiss you, you will kiss her back because I do not meet your needs sometimes and you just might be with her and be with me n break my heart at the end of our degree I am not saying I think of you like that I am just scared because anything can happen it just hurts me so much thinking I can lose you when I really do not want to I have seen other people's love lives as i grew up they are not 100% nice well not nice at all I have had my heart broken so many times but I have never felt like this with anyone before like ever the amount of trust I have in you I never ever had that in anyone when I used to tell someone how I felt they would get mad at me rather than not making me feel like that they make me feel worse but I do not have to worry about that with you with you I do not have to be scared to have feelings this might sound silly and unbelievable because I have dated a lot of guys but I have never been allowed to have feelings I always used to get shouted at when i was upset or angry they used to make it worse n use it against me... For the first time a guy has never done that to me I am actually crying and typing this I got tears in my eyes look at how sad my love life has been every single guy I dated in the past all treated me like shit when all I wanted to do is love someone I feel like I have been treated like a dog all my life by guys so I honestly mean this thank you for treating me like a human I've never said this to anyone before but I am really scared to fall in love and I am in love with you like properly and I am so scared because it has been four months you have not messed up and so many guys mess up so bad at this point but you have not and I am so scared because it does not seem normal but I am really scared that you might just make me fall in love with you so much trust you so much more than I have with anyone and I bring you close to my heart and you just hurt me the smallest thing would destroy me I hope you do not get angry but I am scared to fall in love it is the scariest thing in life in my opinion. Please do not break my heart...